


u can't bang me if u arrest me so why don't u just bang me

by punctualpizza



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: But public sex, M/M, Power Bottom Hyungwon, against a car, all hot and shit, also yes there is smut, bECAUSE HOT SEX, bcs shownu, but also hot, but gentle shownu, but thief hyungwon, enjoy, hyungwon also wants kinky sex, hyungwon's stolen car that is, i am soft, i wish, i'll end this now, is it kinky, like this hot ass officer shownu can arrest me anytime he wants, lots of cussing and swearing sorry, ok, uh policeman shownu, with handcuffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 16:12:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14264790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punctualpizza/pseuds/punctualpizza
Summary: Shownu is a policeman and Hyungwon will do just anything to avoid going to jail.





	u can't bang me if u arrest me so why don't u just bang me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this tweet: https://twitter.com/clchaewon/status/983147887444938752  
> well uh saw this tweet, got EXTREMELY triggered, so wrote something, got turned on by own writing, couldn't breathe, but yes this is fresh BUNS from my OVEN so ENJOY also bcs shownu is so fricking sweet goddamn 
> 
> sorry catch me on tumblr @nashaloof or twitter @punctualpizza

 

It’s a quiet evening. The birds have long gone to rest for the night, no drunk people littering the streets anymore. It’s three in the morning and the only sound through the streets of Seocheo is the roar of a Kia Stinger tearing down the streets at eighty miles an hour, threatening to overpass the speed limit.

Hyungwon is having the time of his life. He looks over to the passenger seat, just checking if his bag of cash is still there – it still is. His prominent pink hair blows in the wind as he throws his head back and lets out an almighty howl as he tears down the streets. This mighty fine classic car was acquired – stolen – a few nights ago, and honestly Hyungwon has no idea why he didn’t think to get – steal – one before. It’s literally the sweetest ride he’s ever seen.

Drives like a dream, makes the beautiful noises, and if Hyungwon does say so himself, he rather likes it when pretty noises come from those he’s riding.

As he passes yet another flickering street lamp, Hyungwon makes the immediate decision to turn down a dimly lit alley, so he can count his millions. He knows he should be getting as far away from the hotel where he stole the money as possible, preferably nearer to his squad, but this opportunity is too good to miss. Counting his cash in a stolen car, you don’t get successful opportunities like this every day, even in Hyungwon’s history of work.

Besides, he reckons he’s still got four more hours until the rich and dumb Mr. Shin finds out it’s even gone missing.

So he parks the car halfway down the alley, a brick wall either side of the car with no light from the city or the sky, Hyungwon grabbed his phone from his pocket for light. He counts the bundles, quickly at first, just to check that he’s roughly got all two million, then slower, making sure the bundles are actual notes and not just paper. He’s been around the scene for quite a while, so he knows the tricks and it’d be embarrassing if he got lied to.

Jooheon and Changkyun would probably throw him out of the squad, because he knows they’ve been eyeing up that weird and muscular fraudster they bumped into at a club they’ve been hanging out at lately. It’s not his fault he got to him first.

It’s starting to get a bit chilly, a sort of bitter wind hitting his hair as the windows of his beautiful – but stolen – car is open, so Hyungwon grabs his black leather jacket from the back seat and shrugs it on extremely gracefully. A torch flashes, as if someone was making their way towards the alley where he was parked.

Hyungwon panics silently, hoping it’s not a cop, but he doesn’t have time to hide the bag, so he just zips it up and patiently waits for the person to walk past him instead.

“Everything alright here, sir?” It’s a cop. Of-fucking-course it is.

The officer has brown hair that looks like a mess since it spent all day under a police cap, one of his hands in the belt loop of his trousers – next to his baton – and the other gripping the torch tightly, shining it in Hyungwon’s face. Hyungwon winces away from the light and forces himself not to look in the policeman’s eyes. For a conman, he’s not very good at lying to a pretty face.

Especially when this pretty face is a fucking policeman.

“Hmm? Oh yes, of course, everything’s fine, officer. Thank you,” he says nervously. Hyungwon’s fingers twitch on his lap, itching towards the steering wheel. It’d be absolutely awful if he got caught, Jooheon and Changkyun would definitely throw—or, kill—him out for sure.

The police officer furrows his brows, and a cute, so cute frown appears as he gazes over Hyungwon’s car, but makes no sign of moving. “Nice ride you got here.”

Hyungwon’s heart beats loudly in his ears.

“Thanks,” he squeaks, he’s caught, he’s fucking caught. “I love a good looking ride.” Of course he does.

“What’re you doing driving it at this hour? This is a pretty rough area, if you aren’t careful it’ll get keyed,” The handsome cop says, and Hyungwon gulps, “Or worse; stolen.”

Fuck, he knows. He knows. He knows. He fucking knows.

Hyungwon forces himself to laugh, “Hah, good point, officer. Well, I’ll be off now, good night.”

He reaches for the ignition, but the policeman’s stern voice stops him abruptly.

“Wait,” he says and Hyungwon’s hands fall back onto his lap. “Can I see your license please?”

“So polite,” he mumbles to himself, reaching into the glove compartment for the fake documents he had prepared. The police officer takes them and calls on his radio.

“Control this is officer 9206MX18S, over,” he mutters into the radio.

“Hyung! Thank god, I’m so bored,” the crackly voice comes from the radio. Hyungwon sniggers, “Where the fuck are you and when are you coming back, over.”

“Minhyuk,” he whines into his lapel, “I’m with someone, don’t embarrass me, over.”

“Shit sorry Hyunwoo – I mean, Officer Son, over.” Minhyuk says. Hm, Hyunwoo? Officer Son? They have a nice ring to it. Suits this godly being well.

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes sort of fondly, so Hyungwon reasons they must be friends. Perfect. “Anyways, I’m out here so I need you to run a driver’s license for me, over.”

“Sure, what’s the number?” Minhyuk asks and Hyunwoo relays it off for him. Hyungwon seriously hopes he gave the cop the right forged documents, seeing as the ones Jooheon used yesterday are in here as well, and they were registered all the way out in Changdong. That would be a different thing to explain. Ugh.

“Well, looks like you check out, Mr… Chae.” Hyunwoo says with a bright smile, and hands the papers back. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s his real life actual driver’s license. “If you’d be so kind as to step out of the car, please.”

Hesitantly, Hyungwon opens the car door as Hyunwoo steps back, eyeing him warily. He doesn’t know what’s going on and Hyungwon hates that. Something snaps against his wrist as he goes to get out the car and Hyungwon sighs loudly when he looks down to see a metal handcuff tight around his wrist.

“What’s all this?” he asks.

“Get out of the car, please,” Hyunwoo says, ever so sweetly, you’d think he wasn’t about to arrest Hyungwon.

“Now now, Officer Son, if you want to suck my cock, you don’t have to be so coy about it.” Hyungwon says, his last line of defence is crude comments and sarcasm. Usually it helps him out of sticky situations, so he hopes it pays off this time around.

Hyunwoo very clearly blushes, and Hyungwon can tell that much, but the officer then continues to roll his eyes and tugs sharply on the handcuffs. “Out of the car, Mr. Chae.”

“Babe, if you need to scream when you come, the name’s Hyungwon,” he replies with a wink. Hyunwoo tugs the handcuffs again and uses Hyungwon’s moment of weakness to pull him out of the car. Hyungwon struggles as much as he can, twisting out of the officer’s grip when he tries to clip the other handcuff over his wrist and Hyunwoo ends up slamming him against the car in an effort to make him stay still. “Yah, watch my car!”

“It’s not your car though, is it, Mr. Chae?” Hyunwoo says smugly. Hyungwon’s pretty sure he should be reading his rights right there and then, but with Officers Son’s cock pressed against his bum so firmly, he’s not sure he actually cares. He even likes it—enjoys it a whole lot.

“This car was stolen earlier this weekend, and I’ll bet you that the suspicious looking black bag in your front seat is filled with wads of cash.”

“Wait, what? I’m being arrested for being rich? That’s stupid, isn’t it?” Hyungwon says, twisting his wrist so it falls out of Hyunwoo’s grip.

“No, you’re being arrested for stealing and being a thief.”

Hyungwon smirks, “A pretty hot thief, though,”

“Hyungwon,” Hyunwoo groans to his dismay.

“Look at you saying my name, officer,” he grins, wiggling his bum further against the outline of Hyunwoo’s cock in those tight, tight trousers. It’s starting to perk up in interest, and Hyungwon grins as he looks up to Hyunwoo, batting his eyelashes. Officer Son finally manages to get the other handcuff over Hyungwon’s wrist, who then whistles and smirks tightly. “Guess someone’s into the kinky stuff, huh? It’s okay babe, I like whatever you like.”

Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything for a while, and when Hyungwon tries to look back at him, a firm hand is pushed in between his shoulder blades, effectively pinning him to the car. Hyungwon knows Hyunwoo is quite flustered with what’s going on, and he feels Hyunwoo’s hard-on pushing against the crook of his ass. Hyungwon likes it, he really does.

“Chae Hyungwon, I am arresting you on suspicion of theft, you do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence—,”

“Come on, big boy, don’t be like that, we can work this out,” Hyungwon whines, pushing back, further and harder onto Officer Son’s hardening cock. Hyunwoo is so flustered by his movements, so so confused on why his erection keeps refusing to stay limp as he thinks of dead kittens in the back of his mind. He clears his throat noisily and shift his hips slightly, but that just makes it stiffer and further against Hyungwon’s cheeks.

“But it may harm your defence if you fail to mention when questioned something which you later rely on—,”

“Hey, is that the baton in your pocket, or are you just so happy to see me?” Hyungwon giggles, grinding against Officer Son’s cock.

“Something which you later rely on in court. Anything you say may be given as evidence,” Hyunwoo finishes with an uneasy sigh. God, Hyungwon wishes he could see Hyunwoo’s face right now, probably all flushed pink from embarrassment and arousal, pupils probably blown wide, he reckons Hyunwoo is a lip biter too – bet they’re bitten raw by now.

“If I say I want you to fuck me really hard, right now against this car, will that be given as evidence?” He asks cheekily, being shoved down against the bonnet after trying to get a glimpse of Hyunwoo’s face. Hyungwon can slowly feel Officer Son’s hold on him getting weaker and weaker as he tempts him with his sinful body—I mean, Hyungwon knows he’s sexy.

Hyungwon can be quite a cock tease when he wants to be one, more often than not which is why his boyfriends leave him—because he spends too much time on the foreplay and not enough on the actual sex, but he loves it. He loves dicks and he loves making them hard with just his words and the smallest of friction. He feels like it’s some kind of super power he has.

So with that in mind, it surprises Hyungwon when this hot officer is taking so long as it’s taking him to say fuck it and undo his belt. He’s not all that bothered when two barely slick fingers enter him simultaneously, though.

“Careful officer,” he squeaks, jerking away when Hyunwoo starts thrusting his fingers in straight away, it sort of burns, but it’s also sort of pleasurable. “It’s been a while,”

Hyunwoo smacks him, hard. Hyungwon’s sure to have a red hand print on his bum in the morning, and he’s pretty sure he’d be happy about that. “Thought you wanted me to fuck you hard?”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want you to use lube, babe,” Hyungwon mumbles with a roll of his eyes. “They’re in the glove compartment.”

Hyunwoo doesn’t even question why, but instead just leans over the car and fishes the lube out of the glove compartment. Damn, those are some nice looking biceps. Hyungwon wants them around his neck. Next time, maybe.

Hyungwon sighs when Officer Son’s fingers are slicker than before when he enters him this time, and they glide more smoothly through his already slightly stretched out hole. The thing with Hyunwoo is, as Hyungwon finds out, is that he too seems to be a cock tease, and focuses very hard on avoiding Hyungwon’s prostate the whole damn time.

When he does find it though, Hyungwon keens so hard and almost comes all over the car – Officer Son intentionally ignores it until he decides Hyungwon is sufficiently opened up and pulls out his fingers completely.

Hyungwon obediently waits for Hyunwoo to put his fingers back in—or even his cock—but when neither came, Hyungwon frowns and successfully twists his upper body to look at Hyunwoo’s face, frowning and contemplative. “Hyunwoo?”

Hyunwoo snaps his head up to Hyungwon in shock, before biting down on his lip—as he predicted. “This isn’t right, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Come on, Officer Son, live a little,” Hyungwon whines, impatient now that he’s horny and no dicks has been thrusted. “Look, you’re about to come in your pants so you’ll get a relief, and I’ll get to cross banging a cop off my bucket list. Everybody wins!”

“I don’t see how I win, I wasn’t hard until you made me hard so that’s your fault in the first place,” Hyunwoo frowns, grip tightening on Hyungwon’s cuffed wrists.

“Well, oops,” he shrugs, “Didn’t think it’d work on you. Now, please?”

Hyunwoo doesn’t budge.

“Please? Come on, I’ll beg for it.” Hyungwon warns, knowing he can be an annoying little fucker when he wants something, “Officer Son, please fuck me. Fuck me with your big hard cock, so you can fill me up good and proper, and I’ll go to my cell with a limp and a smug grin on my face and everyone will ask me what happened and I’ll them you fucked me so good. You did that to me.”

“Shut up,” Hyunwoo groans, rubbing his—out-of-nowhere-but-apparently-now-naked cock around Hyungwon’s gaping crack.

“Not until you fuck me like you mean it,” Hyungwon grins. “Not until you fill me up with your big, fat—oh.”

Hyunwoo pushes in hard and fast, and fuck, he’s so fucking big. Hyungwon is actually slightly worried he’s actually going to rip open. Officer Son’s so big. Once he’s fully in, Hyungwon falls against the car with a sigh, resting his forehead against the cool metal and just lets Hyunwoo thrust in and out of him, quick and slick.

Every time Hyunwoo pulls out, he pulls on the handcuffs, leaving a sharp but sweet pain tingling all down Hyungwon’s arms, and every time he pushes in, Hyunwoo pushes Hyungwon’s body further onto the cool surface of the car, creating a dull ache in his stomach.

It’s good. It’s so good, it beats all of the boyfriends he’s fucked, all the boyfriends who didn’t do it as good as this hot officer, of all the sex he’s paid for, this is the winner, this is what he wanted all his goddamn life. Officer Son Hyunwoo tops the list—he’s the fucking champion.

Hyunwoo is amazing in bed—or, against the car—and Hyungwon sort of wants to keep him forever.

It’s clear that Hyunwoo’s enjoying it as well as he groans out an undignified “close” not five minutes in. He goes faster and harder, chasing his orgasm and it helps Hyungwon out as well as his dick rocks against the smooth surface of the car. He’s getting so close, but all he’s capable of doing is breathing shallowly and letting himself get fucked. Hard.

When they come, it’s almost in unison but to Hyungwon’s surprise, he actually finished first just right before Hyunwoo spills inside him. The officer collapses on top of him, holding Hyungwon by the waist as he pants wildly, body going limp and it’s really uncomfortable for the both of them. Hyungwon doesn’t have the energy to tell Hyunwoo to move since he’s twice the size even though they’re the same height. They lie there against the car, sweaty, worn out and covered in come.

Hyungwon’s about to doze off, but Hyunwoo whispers, “Better get you to the station,” and his lips touch his cheek, peppering kisses all over before shifting off of Hyungwon.

Hyungwon scoffs. “How can you be so gentle but then fuck me so hard? How amazing was that fuck, Officer Son?”

“The best.” Hyunwoo says cautiously, and Hyungwon feels that attentiveness as he pulls himself upright and zips up his uniform’s trousers, before pulling up Hyungwon’s tight jeans as well. Quite considerate, to be honest, Hyungwon probably would’ve left them around his ankles, if it were him.

“You do know that if we go to the station, I’m getting locked up, and,” Hyungwon says, his hands still in handcuffs as he brings them up to Hyunwoo’s broad chest, “this won’t happen again, because I’ll be in prison. Shame.”

And honestly, Hyungwon has no idea how he gets away with it, how he managed to convince an enforcer of the law to let him go, but he does, and minutes later the handcuffs are off, his wrists are sore and red from all the pulling, and he’s facing Hyunwoo now, with a real, genuine smile.

“Thanks,” he says, a bit unsure, but he tries not to let it show, “For letting me off.”

“Fuck, yeah, whatever, here’s my number,” Hyunwoo grumbles, mad at himself, but reluctantly writes his number on the back of Hyungwon’s hands. He kisses the red marks on Hyungwon’s wrists softly, before pulling away entirely. Hyungwon’s heart flutters.

“Now, go. Leave the car and the money with me, I’ll say they were abandoned.”

“B-but I paid money for that car!” Hyungwon protests weakly, by the raised eyebrow Hyunwoo gives him, they both know that isn’t true.

“Call me,” Officer Son reminds again, and gives Hyungwon a kiss on the cheek before he walks away. Hyungwon still can’t believe what was happening, how his stolen goods are gone, how he got away from being arrested, how he had the best sex in his life and how that officer was so goddamn gentle and attractive.

It’s bright out now, the sun starting to rise, the birds chirping, cars are now bustling on the road again, and Seoul comes back to life. Hyungwon yawns and shoves his hands in his pockets, trying to hide his limp as he smiles, reminded by that officer once again before making his way to the bus stop. An old man and businessman sit by his side, and he’s sure they can both smell the drying come on him, and that makes him feel even more… smug. Proud of how he’s made himself a new friend.

Hyungwon wants to keep Hyunwoo forever.

He pulls out his phone and texts Jooheon and Changkyun.

"Sorry guys, lost the car and the money," he texts, "but on the bright side, I banged a fucking hot cop."

 


End file.
